Okay, now what?
by Zinde Davouk
Summary: After Doofenshmirtz's latest 'Inator' malfunctions, Perry is turned into a human. During the two weeks that will take to fix the machine they must learn to live with each other, and maybe discover they might be more than nemesis. Possible PxD
1. I knew something was up!

It was a relatively quiet day. Perry was resting under a big tree in the backyard of the Flynn-Fletcher's house.

"Ferb," The small animal heard Phineas' voice coming from the house. "I know what we're gonna do today!"

Perry sighed contently. It was already past noon and he hadn't received any calls from the Agency yet. Not that he minded, really. After all, this was what he'd been trained for most of his life. It's just that it was nice to get some rest once in a while. His joy didn't last long, however, as the watch on his wrist beeped loudly.

With practiced ease, he snuck to the side of the house where he kicked a small rock which opened a door on the grass. He jumped in without hesitation.

He landed on his platypus butt, on the ground a few feet from his chair.

"I guess we forgot about that entrance when we re-arranged the furniture." Major Monogram's image spoke from the giant monitor as Perry took his seat. "Carl, I blame you." There was an 'Okay, sir' somewhere in the bakground.

"Good afternoon, Agent P." The man on the screen directed his attention to the platypus. "Some reports just came in. Doctor Doofenshmirtz has been spotted going into several pet shops and animal shelters and taking some of the animals with him. See what he's up to and stop him. Good luck, Agent P."

Perry saluted his boss before the screen went to static and climbed on his platypus-shaped flying vehicle, heading for the evil doctor's lair.

.

The secret agent stood outside of the apartament door, listening. Growls, barks and some whimpering could be heard, but there were no signs of Doofenshmirtz. He took out the key his nemesis had given him so he didn't have to break down the door again and entered as quietly as he could.

He was met with puppies of all sizes and colors invading almost every surface of the penthouse. Perry walked carefully, trying not to step on any paws or tails on his way to the balcony where he could see a bit of whatever machine he'd have to deal with this time.

"Oh, Perry the Platypus!" He heard Doofenshmirtz's voice somewhere behind the metal contraption. "You're a bit early. But don't worry, I'm prepared."

The doctor stepped away from the machine and blew the whistle he'd been holding on his right hand. In two seconds, all the puppies hurried to his side.

"Get him!" Doofenshmirtz ordered before laughing evily.

The pups surrounded Perry with a menacing expression and attempted to jump on him and restrict him, but given their small size the only thing they accomplished was dumbly paw at his torso and emit harmless growls.

"Like I said, you're early." Doofenshmirtz wasn't amused. "You see, a while back I tried to form my own army, but I realized it would be too expensive to train all those soldiers. So I came up with a great solution." He pointed towards the machine behind him. "Behold, the Antropomorphinator!" Perry raised an eyebrow.

"You see, dogs are much easier to train and are more loyal. Of course, I wanted adult dogs, but pet stores don't sell them and animal sheters are very particular about who they give their animals to. But it's actually better because I'l have about a year and a half to mold them after my own image. And as you can see, they're very fast learners."

The puppies were still surrounding Perry. The only reason he wasn't moving was because he didn't want to step on them.

"They're almost perfect. The only thing they need is a pair of oposable thumbs. And to be able to stand on two feet for more than three seconds." He patted the machine lovingly. "But this baby will take care of that. Of course, it's not ready yet. I'd say... A few more weeks and it'll be complete. Then no one will stop me and my army of antropomorphized dogs and everyone in the Tri-State Area wil bow to me!"

While Doofenshmirtz was busy reveling on his future glory, Perry managed to distract the puppies with a small rubber ball and snuck behind the doctor, next to the machine, and began looking for the 'self-destruct' button the man occasionally built into his Inators.

"I haven't gotten that far, Perry the Platypus." Doofenshmirtz caught him, apparently aware of Perry's intentions.

A struggle followed, and it was pretty obvious who the victor would be. The puppies seemed to root for their owner nevertheless, some even trying ot attack the secret agent.

Finally there was a small pause. Somehow, Doofenshmirtz had gotten hold of some sort of remote controller and was about to press a bright red button on the center of it. Agent P tried to stop it, but it was too late.

"Enough!" The agent felt a strange force keeping him firmly in place. "Hm, I should've bought this freezing ray much sooner." Doofenshmirtz mused out loud.

Just then, the ball some of the puppies had been playing with bounced off a wall and headed straight for Doofenshmirtz's head. The doctor ducked in time, the ball hitting the machine behind him instead. The ball hit a lever, and in the blink of an eye a dark purple ray shot out of the cannon in the machine, pointing directly to the frozen platypus.

There was a bright flash of light and a lot of smoke that forced the doctor to cough several times. When the purple smoke finally dissipated, Doofenshmirtz saw the extent of the damage.

"Perry the... Platypus?"

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, I know the basic plot is nowhere near original. But as most authors, what I'm trying to do is add my own twists to the premise. So please tell me what you think, and feel free to point out any grammarspelling mistakes, as English is not my native language.**


	2. Perry the Person, I guess

What sat there was _definitely_ not a platypus. It was furless, except for a turf of dark turquoise hair on its head, which reached just below its exposed ears. Its limbs were long and skinny and it had scars of all shapes and sizes all over its body. The only sign of it being Perry was the brown fedora sitting on this person's head.

Doofenshmirtz swallowed thickly.

"I'm in so much trouble right now."

The young man (he couldn't be older than twenty-six) sat on the floor, his legs crossed and a frown on his face.

"Hey, don't look at me like that." The doctor began to take off his white lab coat. "You're the one who couldn't wait until the machine was ready." He handed the garment to the other man. "And cover yourself up, for Pete's sake. You can't go around naked like that."

Perry looked down at himself. Things had changed a lot. He suddenly felt cold and exposed. He emitted a small 'eep!' before hurriedly putting the lab coat on.

"Did you just squeak?" Doofenshmirtz teased, raising an eyebrow. He would've chuckled when he saw the young man blush, if he hadn't been so anxious about what just happened.

"Can you speak?" He asked after a few seconds.

Perry opened his mouth. Sounds came out, but none formed a coherent word.

"So the answer is no." The doctor spoke to himself.

"No." Perry mimicked him, then smiled at his accomplishment.

Doofenshmirtz raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, now what?" He began pacing back and forth, momentarily ignoring what the other man was doing.

Perry tried to get up. It was more difficult than he thought. He was much taller, his limbs much longer, and his gravity center had changed. He struggled with his own body for about a minute before he was finally able to stand upright.

"I need to fix the Antropomorphinator and bring him back to normal" Doofenshmirtz was still talking to himself. "And you need to get out of here. Vanessa is coming over and she can't see you like that. No one can."

For once, Doofenshmirtz was right. He couldn't just go back to Phineas and Ferb, and knowing Major Monogram, he'd blame it on Doofenshmirtz even though it technically hadn't been his fault. Besides, all the entrances he knew were designed for animals half his size.

"But what if I can't fix it? It's not ready yet." Perry tried to crouch down to pet one of the puppies around him, but he stumbled and fell on his back. "I need a couple of weeks, at least. And even then I'm not sure it will work. Maybe I'll have to invent a new Inator altogether." The poor doctor was starting to hyperventilate. "Can you go back to OWCA like this? I don't think so."

Perry shook his head. He heard an exasperated sigh.

"Come here." Doofenshmirtz led him to an elevator on the opposite side of the balcony.

The elevator went one floor down. The doors opened and nothing seemed familiar to Perry. It was a big room, with a door on each wall. In the middle, it was empty except for a small kitchen in a far corner and a round table with two chairs. On the edge of the table there was a black projector.

"You've never been down here." Doofenshmirtz explained. "At least I hope so."

They stepped out of the elevator and headed for the door on the left wall.

The bedroom was simple, at least by Doofenshmirtz standards. It had a bed, a small TV, a closet, a desk and a nightstand. There was a shelf above the bed with books of various sizes and colors.

The doctor went to the closet and opened it. All the clothing inside was strangely similar except for a black suit. He took out a black turtle-neck shirt and some brown dress pants.

"Put these on." He instructed as he handed the garments to Perry, who frowned at the words that came next. "I can't believe I'm helping you."

The young man began to take the lab coat off, but stopped to glance at the doctor.

"What-" Doofenshmirtz was interrupted by a twirling motion of Perry's finger, indicating him to turn around. "What's the point? I already saw what you got, Perry the P... Ah... Perry." He complained as he turned.

Perry didn't have much trouble putting the clothes on, and when he finished, he cleared his throat. Doofenshmirtz couldn't help but laugh. The pants were too short, ending about two inches above his ankles and the shirt was too tight in some places and too loose in others.

"Looking good." Doofenshmirtz teased. Perry emitted a low growl. "We'll have to work on that later."

Perry sighed in exasperation. He went to the bed and after a few tries managed to sit cross-legged. He closed his eyes and inhaled and exhaled deeply a few times, humming slightly. Then he tilted his head back for a few seconds before opening his eyes again suddenly, coming to a conclusion.

He looked around, searching for the doctor and finding him near the closet , staring direclty ahead in some sort of trance. Perry got up and stood in front of Doofenshmirtz waving a hand on his face.

"Huh? I... Eh..." He mumbled before burying his face in his sleeve, faking a cough in an attempt to hide his flushed cheeks.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow. Thank you so much for your reviews and alerts! I honestly wasn't expecting that much. Well, here's chapter two. Again, feel free to point out any grammarspelling mistakes, and see you next time!**


End file.
